My Stories...

2009-05-17T18:59:00.002+08:00

Phew!!

Its been quite a some time that I have updated my blog. Its like a few months gap between my last post. Its all due to my hectic training and my life seems so monotonous. Nothing so special about it. Everyday is the same routine. Training then rest. Then training again on the following day.

There are some good news in which I would like to share.

First, last 7 of May 2009, first time in my wheel bound life, left the comfort zone of my own country. Left to Australia for the Arafura Games 2009. I took part in the field events of course. Upon arrival, quickly went to the Darwin Airport Inn for the week stay. Later in the morning, left to the stadium to see around as well as to do a little bit of our training then off for lunch.

Darwin is indeed a great place. Laid back, slow paced very relaxing place to be. The weather there was so hot & dry. Nothing like what I have experience in my homeland. I cannot even sweat when the day was so hot. Good experience for me to understand other country's weather.

9 May 2009 was the Arafura Games Opening Ceremony. I was so shocked to see the other countries gather at the holding area. For what I have heard, more than 50 nations took part in this game. Another shocker to me. But then, I calm myself down as this game is a mix event of disabled & the abled. The medal tally is all being calculated by point system (I think).

Sunday, 10 May 2009. It was my first event on the international game. Throwing shots. Eventually I did very well for myself there. Did my personal best of 6.63 meters. I truly shocked myself out when I heard the umpire called out the distance. I was smiling all through the night as I did my personal best.

Monday, 11 May 2009. It was discus throw. Something in which not my forte at all. I'm more aced in shots & javelin. Upon arrival to the stadium, I checked for the results of my shots. To my surprise, I got a silver medal! Yes! A silver! I called upon my coach, my mentor & also my buddy, Adam & his brother. They were so happy for me and I was nervously trembling. I just keep on smiling. First medal on my international game. After the medal presentation, I quickly wheeled off for my discus throw. Did 12.58 meters. I was devastated. My personal best in Singapore is 15.28 meters. I was afraid I was a let down to coach & mentor but they cheer me up by telling that I cannot be the best in everything. I gave them a faint smile.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009. Javelin throw. My favourite event of all. I was already prepared mentally for this event. Upon reaching the stadium, I saw my result. I fumbled. 7th placing. I was so pissed off by the result. I just say to myself that not to let my favourite event down. I did 14.58 meters. I was again shocked. I told myself. I fumbled again. Totally demoralised. Upon I saw Adam won a Gold and Silver medals in his 1500 meters and 800 meters. I was telling myself, I need to work very hard once back in Singapore.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009. Went over to the stadium to see the results for my javelin throw. I was thrilled to hear the results. Another silver medal for me. I was so shocked and this was another unexpected result for me. I was so nervous. Coach and the others congratulated me on my second silver medal. Three silver medallist won this event as it is all by point system. Something new in which I have learn.

Thursday, 14 May 2009. Last day stay over at Darwin. Going to miss this wonderful place. Lovely place. Friendly people. Nice weather. Left Darwin at 7pm and reached Singapore at about 10.30pm. Reached home at about 11pm. Have a quick shower and waited for my brother to bring back supper home. Miss the Singapore food. At last, the taste of a true Asian cuisine.

Arafura Games 2009 left me with such beautiful moments. A gateway for me to know what will my pet event will be like. Well.. Its shots. A great experience and exposure for me. I did learn a lot throughout the whole one week stay there especially in designing my new throwing chair and the throwing techniques.

Now that I'm already back in Singapore, I have to train really hard for ASEAN Para Games in KL in August 2009. Three months left for hard training and throwing chair to be fabricated. Another hectic schedule for me. I guess I shall update my blog by end of August then.

2009-01-16T12:57:00.003+08:00

So sorry for the late post of my blog.

Seems to be very busy with my training sessions. Five times a week. All for the sake of wanted to be the very best in the team and not wanted to disappoint my mentors and coach.

Its 2009. New year. New resolution. What's next?

Seems the same to me for every year except 2009 is very different from all the past years I've been through. I just want to train hard. Achieve something worthwhile for myself and to get a medal tally and if possible, try to break records. That's the fire in me now. Nothing will bring me down. Just want to train real hard and achieve these goals. I know its going to be a hard one for me, but I shall try my very best to obtain it.

This goals really make up my mind to have less time on the internet. This is the sacrifice that I have to make in order for me to achieve my goals.

Sorry my chatter friends. I guess its better for me to leave rather than stay and wasting my time which I find is unhealthy for me. I have a life now. A life of a disabled sportsman who is so determine to achieve his goals and dreams. If you guys happen to read my blog. I hope you will understand my situation.

This year will be going to be my first SEA Games appearance in my field events. That's why I'm sacrificing myself on all these. I really want to prove to people that I'm capable of doing something which is hard and tedious.

That's all for today.

Training hard for now as my next track and field meet will be in April.

Shall update you guys later on about my meet.

As for now, its all about training hard and try to beat my personal best marks.

2008-12-08T16:09:00.002+08:00

November. The most tiring month for me. I have to juggle so many things in my hands and I'm so occupied. Juggled with my training sessions, my brother's wedding transportation preparations and some problems which seems to me have no endings to it.

I was totally stressed out and people don't seems to understand about it. Seems to me, I'm their problem solver. If they want to get anything, just look for me. But hey! Why can't they do that?Are they being stupid or just seeking attention? Even a simple task, they can't execute it. This really getting on my nerves at times. I wish all of these people would wake up in their dreamland and come back to their senses!

Now my aches are coming back to me. Been having these aches ever since first week of November and now, its going to be one month already. Although I have been to the massage therapy for a very good massage, its only for a short while. Now its back hunting me again and I can't even do well during my training sessions.

Stating about training sessions, this month is really a bad month for me. This is because of the raining season. It affects me so much as I can't do much throws and all I can afford to do is to do weights and endurance training. All I can hope for is to see the sun shining for at least a week or two before the training stops for two weeks for the holiday and school reopens season.

6 December 2008. I managed to endure it without any problems at all. No traumatic and depression issues. Its been four years now. Living as a disabled. A truly blessing in disguise.

2008-10-23T11:43:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the best day of all. Meet up with all my old friends back in my god-mum's place. Was enjoying the wonderful moment as we talk a bit about the past and at the same time,having karaoke sessions. A lot of shocking news I've heard too. My god-parents are going to perform the Haj this December. So happy for them. Shocking and happy at the same time. Another shocking news. A good friend of mine who I know him since in secondary one in 1992, was finally found a partner. Wow! Shocking Wednesday.

But before all of that to happen, I went out much earlier yesterday. Left home at noon. I was so bored at home and went out to celebrate my god-sis birthday. Had a fun afternoon with them all. Really makes my day and I was shocked that one of them have a same birth date as me. That was the FIRST shocker. After spending good times during lunch together, all headed back home and so am I.

Reach home and I saw my third brother in my room meddling with my desktop. To my surprise, he did actually bought my dream hand phone. It was a Sony-Ericsson W980i. I was shocked. My dream hand phone and he got it first. I will get it soon though. Maybe during the Christmas festive season.

So many shocking news I have heard and saw it yesterday.

And today another one just came in. One after another. This shocking news was rather too personal for me too post it here. Once I'm done with it, I shall post it here to share with you guys out there.

I don't know whether I can handle the news on my own as I have already throw away all my bad habits. Bad habits like smoking and overdosing my medications. Now my depression is coming back and today is my training day. I don't know whether I can do well in my training. I have still to find my ace event yet.

Thinking of doing all my bad habits once again. Is it worth it?

Why?

Ps: My good friends, if you happen to read this blog, please help me. I don't want to be in my old self back.

2008-10-08T18:18:00.002+08:00

To all Muslims all over the world and all my Muslims friends, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri.

Its been a week I've been celebrating the festive season and so far, its been smooth sailing. I've only travel to my aunt's place and that's all. Same old routine every year without fail. So far, didn't encounter my depression as much as before and the best part is that I've been kicking away my smoking habit for two weeks already.

Its been great actually although the cold turkeys I suffered at night and at times I do feel so stuffy within my own self. The best thing is that each time I do my own workout at home, I don't feel so tired like before. To my surprise, I can do even more than what I've expected. I don't want to stress myself too much on my weights training at home as I want to have a better performance during my training.

After the one week break during the Hari Raya celebration, I can feel that I can't do much. No doubt my stamina and endurance are slowly coming back, I can't perform well during my discus throw yesterday. Everything was haywire. I fumble alot and I was so frustrated. Slowly towards the end of my training, then I'm able to pick myself up again. Its was too late already. Guess I'll have a better chance on next week.

Now my training program is going to be four times a week on weekdays and rest on the weekends. Weekends. I hope I can manage through without any problems at all then. Just have to plan myself to keep myself busy on the weekends.

Tomorrow is my training day and been always looking forward to it. I'm really going to work hard for it as I heard its going to be tough for me for the later times to come and I have to prepare for it.

2008-09-19T16:33:00.002+08:00

Wow!!

Its been about two months I've last updated my blog. Well I'm quite busy actually. Busy with my trainings and I would like to say my thanks to my mentor and coach for their patience and perseverance towards me. Seems that I've been actually improving much. So much that at times during my training sessions, I've beaten my own personal best record.

I've also have done some cross training here and there for the past two months. I've tried sailing, seen and also tried wheelchair basketball, but my passion is athletics. The field events of course.
I just simply love to be in the outdoor. Out there in the sun, perspiring myself out, getting myself tanned each day during training.

For the past three weeks or so, I've been keeping myself updated with the paralympic games in Beijing over the IPC website. Oh man! The disabled athletes doing their own respective field event, really inspiring me. Inspiring me to be in the London 2012 paralympic games. As from now onwards, I'm willing to sacrifice everything just to be the best and make the nation proud of me. My mentor have also been encouraging me and to make myself dedicated to the games I'm in now. He's been reminding me that to be the best, I must sacrifice everything. Then my reward shall come. The medals.

Now I'm truly focused, dedicated and willing to do all out. I just can't wait to have my own personal throwing chair. My mentor also been asking me if I'm willing to get myself a racing chair so as to get myself involve in pentathlon. That is five events. Three throwing events & two racing events. As for the racing events, I think it will be the 800 meters and the 1500 meters if I'm not mistaken. Still have yet to check on that though.

Now that the festive season is just around the corner, I'm so afraid that I cannot cope up with my depression when it strikes on me again. Just simply hate it. I don't know why and don't even bother to ask me about it. I just hope that everything goes well and the festive season sailed through with an ease. Just keep my fingers crossed that I won't do all that nasty stuffs again.

I hope that my coach will give about a few days time grace for the festive season. I'm just too determined and focus right now. I really want to go to the London paralympic games in 2012 but then next year will be the SEA games. A good chance for me to shine and show others what I'm capable of. Before I'm going to the SEA games, I will be leaving to Australia for some invitational games. Can't wait to be there too. Next year will be a lot of games coming out here and there. Just the right time for me to shine.

2008-07-14T13:22:00.002+08:00

Ready for my next throw.
Ready to throw again.
Look! Where is my discus?

2008-07-14T13:12:00.002+08:00

My breakfast. 2 half-boiled eggs and 1 cup of hot Milo
Looking at the wheelchair racers.
Its me with 111 number tag.
Setting up and getting ready for my throws.
My first throw.

2008-07-14T12:36:00.002+08:00

12 July 2008..

My track and field meet at Serangoon Stadium. Arrived at 12pm and the weather is really hot. Scorching hot. I prayed hard that it will not rain throughout the whole event because I really want to perform my very best on that day.

My events started at 2pm beginning with my discus throw, following by the javelin and the shot putt. Just having about an intervals of 15 minutes for each events, I started to get nervous as it is my first track and field event for the disabled sports. For my class F54, I'm the only thrower for the throwing event. I'm all psyched up and ready to do my best in all my events.

After my warm-up in the track for a lap and doing my push ups, crunches and do a very good streching, the officials called all the throwers as it is time for the event to kick off. After setting up my throwing chair onto the field, I asked my coach to get a good tug onto the harnesses so that it will not move when I do all my throws. It is time for me to do my discus throw for my first event, following by javelin and shot putt.

I came with all my personal best. Discus: 13.04 meters, Javelin: 13.84 meters, Shot putt: 5.28 meters.

Now that I know all my personal best, its time for me to work hard to achieve more than my personal best in all my events. I treat it as my guide because I don't know what is the best results and what shall I work hard on. All thanks to my coach for teaching me all the techniques and my veteran thrower friend who is my mentor who always been giving me good guidance and tips on how to perform well on that day.

No doubt I have gold in all 3 events for that day as I'm the only thrower in my class. I have to work very hard from now onwards. Now I'm trying to try do pentathlon. 5 events. 3 throwing events and 2 wheelchair racing events. Well that is for my future aim. I will try my very best for that!

2008-07-05T01:32:00.011+08:00

me (left), Rizwan (center), Lee (right)

Rizwan trying to be funny. Hahaha

Guess that my trainer is not good with the camera.

My trainer, Dec Wel (left) and us again.

My new set of wheels. ProGeo Carbon.

Me posing with my new wheels.

2008-07-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

One month had passed since I last updated my blog.

It's been a tiring and tedious month and so I have hardly enough time to update my blog. After my training sessions, I would come back home and rest as much as possible. The next day will be my own self workout at home. As usual, I'll do my weights for two hours and after that, I'll just rest before doing for another few more sets.

3 July 2008 was the most memorable date of my entire life. Why?

First, I have to go back to my previous workplace for its official opening. I reached there at about 8.30am. Then I met up with my old friends and colleagues and they always asking me about my training sessions and they saw alot changes in me. I got myself more tanned now. I simply loved it. Just like before in my old good times. Tanned, sporty and rugged. At the same time, I came down to my previous workplace with my new set of wheels. Fully carbon-fibred. Most of my friends were so jealous of me because its too pricy to get it.

Secondly, I was so shocked to hear that I will involve in the interview with the media. What?? I was so shocked! Unprepared & not ready for it, I have to keep calm, cool and maintain my composure. There are lot of people coming in and out & I just simply do the task which my trainer gave me in the very last minute. Oh man!! Lucky for me, it's just using Photoshop CS3 and I've to refresh all my skills and try to recall back what the most suitable tools are being use for the task given. Media coming in and out around my desk area and it started to give me the creeps. I was so nervous that all i can say to myself is to be normal and just act cool. Then the best part, the interviewer keep calling up my name because it's my turn to be interview by the media and the press. After a short question & answer by the interviewer, the cameraman is ready to take the shot and I was so nervous. I can't even speak properly and my voice is slowly becoming to get softer. I have to do it twice! One in English and another in Malay. After the interview, the cameraman want me to get a shot while I'm wheeling myself from the aisle up to my desk. After all is done, I was glad that its all over. Just wait for its results in the news later at nite.

Lastly, after all the interviewing sessions, I went to lunch at KFC in Tiong Bahru Plaza and give my friends a lunch treat by me. I was so happy to go out with them for lunch for the very last time. I don't know yet when will I be back to my previous workplace again. After the lunch treat, I went back home & rest for a while. Later in the evening will be my training session and the weather seems to be so good. Cloudy and windy. Great day for my training sessions. After my warming up sessions, its time for me to do my discus throw. Along came my throwing chair and my coach and friends help me to set it up mounted to the ground. Its time for me to show my true self in the field then. But then, I can't perform well on that day because I was so tired by my interview sessions and I don't have enough rest for it. I was then being advised and told to do the correct way until the very very end of my training session. That's when I get the correct technique for it. Now I got it and all I have to do is to think about all the mistakes and not to do it anymore.

Well.. That's all I can update with all my best knowledge.

I shall update further when I got thru my Track and Field meet in 12 July.

Busy With Activities..

2008-06-05T12:31:00.002+08:00

Wow!! How time flys. Its been 2 months that I've last update my blog.

Sorry bloghoppers. Just been busy with my training and some personal matters to deal with. Its been fun though training hard as my selection for the nationals is just less than 1 month. I'm pushing myself real hard this time because I don't wabt to disappoint all my friends and family members. I want to make them proud of me because I can do the impossible in which not much people like us dare to do it. All they can is just dream of it. As for me, I'll dream of it and I'll sweat, work hard, train hard and prove to others that I can be the best. The best that I can be.

Now my training schedule have been add 1 day to it so as to do gym training. Do weights. Been to the gym at the National Stadium and I feel so awkward at first because I'm the only disabled who do my training there. Never ever been to gym once and the feeling is really different. The people there just ignore me and do their stuffs. I just do as what my coach told me to do and at the same time, simply admire those gym-goers.

Well my training is going to get tougher day by day. I know its going to be hard but I do enjoy my training, especially under the hot sun! This may sounds crazy but indeed, I love the sun! Now that the weather is rather not so hot, I feel that my training workout is not as good as when the sun really blaze through me. That's when I can get easily warmed & pumped up and accomplish all my throw with a good distance.

That's all for today. Can't write much because I'm going to do my weights at home before my training starts so that I want to see some progress for today. Hope that I can please myself, the coach and my best team mate. He is the one who give me alot of guidance and teachings. Nonetheless, my coach too, he always give me the moral support and hope to live my dreams to become a paralympian.

Sorry For Long Disappearance..

2008-04-14T19:54:00.002+08:00

Its been quite a while I update my blog.

Sorry bloghoppers. Just that I'm now being tied up with work & some other commitment. Too busy till I even don't have the time for my own self.

First of all, too busy with work.
Wow! At least there are some things to keep me busy at to let my mind off away from the problems & depression that I'm having. That's a good sign for me & now I feel more energetic & fresh at work although the work is keep on piling on me. I treat all this as something to keep myself busy all the time.

Secondly..
Now currently involve in sports. Great improvement to me after for a few years being inactive in sport. I've just join in the field events in shot putt, discus & javelin throw for the national paralympic team. I know that some people might ask why I involve in this kind of sports.

To tell you the truth, I'm a spinal cord injury survivor which left me paralyse from waist down since in December 2004. Its very hard for me to cope in this new 'body' of mine. Everywhere I go, I'm on a wheelchair.

3 years plus have past & I've able to adapt to this 'body' easily. After 3 months in 2004 & 2005 during the rehabilitation period, things seems to work out very well for me.

In 2005, it was the worst year of my life. Things doesn't seems to turn out right for me. My ex-girlfriend just left me without saying a single word. Suicide was always on my mind after that. I was so depress & sad because no one seems to know about my feelings & no one seems to care about me. Alot of problems came by after one & another. This makes me more depress as I'm the 1st child in the family & it seems to me that all the problems is resting on me. The only way to keep my mind off this problem is to sleep myself away.

Ever since 2005, I just hate the festive season. Really hate it. I don't know why. Till now, I have no answer for it.

Now its 2008. Seems to me that I everything is slowly back on track. I hope that this will go on till the day I lose my last breath. And now, I join the paralympic squad, it even makes me so happy. I hope to bring back some medals for the country & give inspirations to all new spinal cord injury survivors.

I always have this adidas wristband on me " impossible is nothing". This makes me stronger day by day. I hope those who are in same state as me, be greatful because its not the end of life. Its just that there an obstacle in front of you. Its the method of how you going to overcome it or just looking for another way out.

That's all about me.

I'll shall update you guys more on my training later in time.

Another Weekend..

2008-03-09T21:53:00.002+08:00

ARGHHH!!!!!

NOT ANOTHER WEEKEND!!!

Each & everytime the weekend is around, I'll get freaked up & out of sudden my depression, boredom, anxiety all reaching to its climax killing me in an instant.

But..

Saturday was good. Able to keep myself busy & occupied. Did a little bit of springcleaning to my room & my wardrobe, rearrange all my stuffs in my workstation & throw away all the unnecessities. Later in the evening, went over to my friend's place to attend his wedding banquet. It was fun. Meet all those old friends in which I have not meet since 2005. Gosh! 3 years do fly by fast. Eating & talking about their current activities as well as asking what have I been doing so far.

This is the part where I hate most. Asking me foolish questions. I just gave them a blank smile & kept quiet. Hahaha.. The best way to keep them shut up for a moment. Stayed there till around 1 am & back home for a good night rest.

Sunday.. I was sleeping the whole day through. No plans. Nothing.
Decided to go online for a while to do some research & at the same time, to chat over the msn.
That's why I like the weekedays so much because that is when I can go to work & meet my friends & do our work together. Doing work at home is rather boring & my ideas seems not to be as creative as at work.

*Sigh*

Depression is getting bad to worst.

What shall I do?

*Sigh*

R.I.P

Depressing Weekdays

2008-03-02T17:53:00.003+08:00

My goodness.. What is happening to me? Suicide is always in my mind & my depression is killing me throughout the weekends. I really hate the weekends as I don't have much activities to do & the weather is quite bad for me.

Rainy days is a good day for some people because it's very cooling & a very good day to rest, especially on weekends. As for me, its a really bad, tiring & painful day for me. Because of its coolness, I'm suffering from my nerve pains again & depression.

Nerve pains & depression. Best tag team ever to kill me & destroy my day.

Lucky for me, I have good friends to talk things out with me & manage to calm me down before I do anything stupid which can cause serious damage to me.

Thanks guys for helping & calming me down.

That's all for today.

Still feeling drowsy from my medications.

R.I.P

Busy Weekdays

2008-03-02T17:46:00.002+08:00

Phew!!!

So busy on my weekdays til I don't have the time to update my blog. I think the best way to update is by doing it on every Sundays. So blog hoppers, just wait patiently on my blog because as from now to a later date in time, I will be very busy with my schedule.

Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

Monday Blues

2008-02-25T23:01:00.002+08:00

SHOCKING!!!

Chelsea lose to Spurs 2-1 in a League Cup Final!!

I was so pissed off by my brothers teasing me over the text messages. I have no mood at all when reading those messages & further more, I was woken up by my nerve pains.

I was cranky in the morning. Cursing my pains & my surroundings. My mom was so used to it & just let it be. Quickly go for a shower & get myself ready to go to work. Then I realise that my handphone was at its lowest. Damn! Need to charge it right away. Out of a sudden, ZAPPPP!! I was eletrocuted for a few seconds! Damn!! It hurts. Lucky for me, I know how to react when this happens. I was cursing & swearing in front of my mum & brother. They know that now, I really in a bad mood. Quickly I left home & waited for my transport to come & fetch me up.

When at work, I told my friends about what happen to me this morning. They laughed at me & ask me that how come my hair is not spiky or alfro? Damn. I laughed at them & told them off that i was using a hair gel to keep it firm.

Later during the day, I was to do animation & get the examples for my colleagues. Oh my goodness, when I saw it, it was too difficult for me to do it because I was taught to do website using flash. Now, I have to do ecards. A lot of things to pick up & I manage to ask my colleague on how its all being made. Lucky for me, I manage to understand of what he is explaining because I was feeling a little bit drowsy & nearly fall asleep. Hahaha.

Then, I started to discuss it among my friends & decided to do it the next day because its about time to go back home. Hahaha. Saved by the bell.

Well.. That is all for today because its about time for me to knock off.

R.I.P

Weekend

2008-02-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

Saturday ( 23 Feb 2008 )

-Went to work for an extra class on how to deal with the designer software which was held by the a trainer. Indeed, I have a great time as the class proceed further. I realise that much function & shortcuts, I don't really use much & didn't even know about it. Now, we can do our work much efficient & faster with the tips that we got on that day.

Later on that day, I proceed back home because of my nerve pains is attacking me & I need to rest as soon as possible. Once reach home, I spent the entire evening sleeping because due to the medicines which makes me sleepy & drowsy. Till I woke the very next day.

Sunday ( 24 Feb 2008 )

-Woke up early as i thought that I was already late & had too much sleep. Had my breakfast & watch the tv. Nothing to watch & I suddenly fell asleep. Out of a sudden, I woke up in a shock! I heard myself snore! ( hahahaha.. still denies about it at times.. )

Then I realise it was noon & a good time for a nap for a moment till 3.45pm. My alarm clock goes off precisely at that time. Still too early to meet my friends at 5pm for a chingay show nearby. Snooze my alarm till 4.15pm. Woke up & quickly dash to change & go out to meet my friends at 5pm.

Upon reaching the meeting place, we quickly headed down to the place where we are all suppose to gather for the chingay event to start. At first, the crowd was still ok for me & able to chat & look around for any familiar faces around me. Later at around 7.30pm, people starting to fill up & the crowd is starting to get intense. But its ok for us all as we manage to get a good view to view the beautiful floats.

Time is about 10+pm, quickly headed home & have a very good nite rest for day. But then, I still thinking of who is the sweet young lady behind me. Oh man!! Till now, I can still hear the voice whenever she compliments about the floats. How I wish I can meet her again one day.

Thats all for my weekend.

I feel great & happy about it.

Hope to meet you soon..

R.I.P

Dilemma

2008-02-21T19:38:00.002+08:00

This one in which I'm facing is really too great for me to handle.

Two people facing their dilemmas & asking me for an opinion. Well one of them is a colleague of mine who is going for a major operation in 4 months time. He is too depress & scared of the side effects after the major operation. In the end, I have to gather the others who can give him avenues & opinion once he is back from home leave due to some personal reasons.

The other one involve a friend of mine who involves in a love triangle. Oh my goodness. This is the most challenging for me but I manage to tell her & let her think what is best for her. I hope she will make the right choice for her life partner. All the best to you.

That is all for today.

Seeing doubles now & can't even type properly.

R.I.P

My Pains In Which I'm Suffering Now..

2008-02-21T19:15:00.002+08:00

Neuropathic pain

This type of pain is caused by a problem with one or more nerves themselves. There is often no 'injury' or tissue damage that triggers the pain. However, the function of the nerve is affected in a way that sends pain messages to the brain. Neuropathic pain is often described as burning, stabbing, shooting, aching, or like an 'electric-shock'.

This is what I'm been facing for the past 3 years plus. It is so painful & irritating & only God knows how it feels. It even causes depression & makes me so moody that I would even scold anyone who does irritate me ( just like pre-menstrual stress but much more painful than this ).

I'm glad that most of my close friends understand my situation well & did a wonderful job by joking around with me so that I can just forget about the pain. Because of this pain, I've lost most of my relationships & now its better not to think about it anymore because its better for me to get myself fully healed rather than to hurt someone that I loved.

I have always try not to take my medications till it comes to the worst situation because of its side effects. Drowsiness. That is what I hate most! Can't do a single thing when I come to that situation. Simply hate it.

Well that's all for today because I jux think much because I'm in a drowsy state now.

Till we meet again.

R.I.P

A Tiring Week..

2008-02-20T19:37:00.002+08:00

Ever since Monday, I'm starting to be very weak. Sleepy at times too. I don't know what is wrong with me & I ask my colleagues around & they say its normal because previously I used to sleep at around 2 to 3 am. I hope that is nothing wrong with me & hope that I can be back on my usual self.

At work, few colleagues of mine said that its good for me to have a good rest at home rather than coming to work. But I think otherwise. I will be bored to death if I were to stay at home & I don't do much actitivy at home. Only face the computer all day long & its making me really sick & tired with it.

Weekends will be around the corner & I really HATE the weekends. I prefer to go out but I don't know where should I go at times. The only way to past my times during the weekends is either to sleep or just play my XBOX 360. Just to past the time as quickly as possible so that I can see Monday soon.

That's about all. I shall update more of it later in time.

R.I.P

Bored.. Tired.. Sleepy..

2008-02-18T22:49:00.003+08:00

Today was kinda sleepy & tired. I was bored to because I need to finish up my work quickly as my supervisor wanted to see it ASAP. Get it done already & let me see my work. Seems to satisfied with it after he made some changes on it. PHEW!!! Well paid off. Still need to twick here & there to finalise it.

Once back home, I was feeling too sleepy already & I was thinking its the best time to have a good rest. Then I just remember. Change my blogskin because some people say its too plain. But its ok for me ( a good try for a starter ). Then I realise that the old skin kinda plain & dull. Time to make some changes. AT LAST!! The current skin ( cradle of filth ), oh gosh, its so cool & it really suits me & my personality well because i do listen to black metal songs & these guys are great!!!

Well.. Time for me to knock off to my coffin as I lay myself to rest.

R.I.P

Saturday Outing.. Movie

2008-02-17T13:36:00.003+08:00

Wow.. Yesterday was definite a great day for me. Went out eventually to Plaza Singapura so as to past my time & not to think much of things inside my head. Went to watch CJ7. Chinese movie by Stephen Chow. A very good movie to watch as I laugh most of the time. Really a great fan of Stephen Chow because of his comical character in the movie.

After the movie, get dinner with the guys & really have a great meal time. Talking while eating, some say its rude, but I say I don't mind at all because that is when all the good topics just simply to come about. We discuss & talk throughout the whole eating session.

After a hearty mealtime, the ladies decided to do some window shopping. This is the part where at times giving me the creeps because the ladies just love to ask for opinion when they have already made up their mind. Hahahaha..

After all the browsing & looking through the items, Out of sudden my migraine came.. ARGH!! Maintain my composure & self & asked to be excuse for a moment to get a puff. Boy!! Was I relieved!! After my smoking session, I decided to head back home because the pain was too unbearable for me.

Head back home at about 2030hrs. Took the MRT back home & reach back to my crib at about an hour later. Rest & sleep.. Too tired to do anything..

That's all..

First Time Blogging..

2008-02-16T01:17:00.001+08:00

After a while consideration & thinking. Its about time for me to create myself a blog. Friends around me told me that it is good to do this because it acts like a diary ( is it true? just give it a try then ).

Well more things will be coming up sooner or later because I know that I'm going to write up what happen to me & I truly hope that what I have written in my blog here will have nothing to do or associate with anyone. Just what I have in mind to share my thoughts & experience of what I have been facing through all this while.

I hope I give myself a very good start & just hope the readers out there like the posts in which I will post later in time to come.